Don’t Stay At Masters Inn In Tampa Florida
Okay, so I’m not exactly the most sophisticated person in the world. I’m used to sleeping outside in the wild. I’m used to blowing snot rockets, drinking filtered river water and I boated the Animas river after the EPA fucked it up. So when I say something is gross, disgusting, or sleazy, you best take my word for it.
I’ve also stayed in some sleazy ass hotels before. The Biggs Bunny on Colfax, Denver is the first that comes to mind. We only had someone keep calling the hotel room insisting that there was someone staying in the room who could hook up some dope. The second one that comes to mind is the Super 8 in Medford, OR (or was it Phoenix, OR?) where I found some tweaker or junkies old and used rigs in the room. And that didn’t really bother me. That just goes to show what I’ll tolerate. So when I actually take the time to blog about the sleaziness of a hotel room, you know it’s major.
The Room Has Roaches
As disgusting as this is, it’s actually a very interesting experience for me. Being from Colorado, the only roaches I have ever seen are the blunt roaches after blazing. I have never seen an insect roach in my life and I guess everyone has to have this experience at least once. I just wish it was a single night and I didn’t take out a weekly rate on the room (planning on staying in Tampa a while).
The roach itself is an interesting creature. I have a hard time believing that they can survive a nuclear blast and want to capture one to see if it could even survive the microwave….Which I’ve heard they can. I also expected roaches to be much bigger. I guess when you see the photos on the internet, they’re pics of the world’s most epic roaches. Either that or extreme closeups. It’s amazing that such a small creature can be so durable. Seems like I should be able to crush them easily.
It wasn’t like there was only one or two of them, they were swarming. There were many roaches the size of ants and a couple that were much bigger. I don’t know how big your typical roach gets, as this is my first run in, and honestly I don’t think there were any huge ones, but it was a great assortment of sizes, to say the least……
No Shampoo or Conditioner
I’m a straight-up hippie, and being one I personally don’t use shampoo or conditioner. I try to avoid products that contain chemicals I can’t pronounce and there’s been shampoos and conditioners found to contain carcinogens. I don’t want to get the cancers from washing my hair. Do you? Just the same, it’s an accommodation that I’ve never seen a hotel *NOT* provide. Therefore, it’s something I feel it’s something that can be used to gauge the level of service the hotel provides. I’m assuming the person reading this blog post ain’t quite as dirty of a hippie as me and would greatly appreciate shampoo and conditioner in their room. Therefore, I feel it’s worth mentioning.
Rusty Mini Fridge
This was the first thing I noticed. This ain’t a deal-changer for me, but I did get a chuckle at it. Kind of like; “Wow, this place might be sleazier than the Biggs Bunny. Wonder if the phone rings and whoever calls insists that there’s someone selling meth out of the room we’re staying in?”. If you’ve never been in that situation, it is pretty amusing…….Unless you’re the type of person that gets disturbed by people you don’t know insisting that you can hook them up with chemical drugs you don’t deal with.
Gum On The Floor
Another thing that isn’t that big of a deal, but shows the due diligence they put into cleaning the rooms up after each stay. If they can’t clean the chewed gum off the carpet, what the hell do they actually clean? The beds were made, but I doubt anything was actually washed in here. Obviously the floors weren’t vacuumed or the gum would have been noticed by housekeeping.
At Least It Was A Cheap Hotel Room………
I was planning on staying in Tampa for a while and a two bed was just over $300. Sounded like a score and I was expecting something lower-quality at that price. I wasn’t expecting this though. I would have rather slept in the car at a rest area the entire time. Would have saved some money and I feel it would have been a cleaner experience. I almost felt like dragging in my paco pad and sleeping bag just to avoid using the bed, blanket and pillows, which I had to question after seeing everything else in the room.
Will I Stay At Masters Inn Again? Hell No!
At least I don’t have to worry about running across one of these establishments much. The piece of shit I stayed at is the only location in tampa and the only other state they’re located in is North Carolina, which I have no intention of visiting. This blog post is mainly to warn those that might be considering the Masters Inn on Martin Luther King in Tampa, Florida.
If you’re fine with roaches and everything else mentioned above, then you’ll love the great rates this hotel has. If you’re looking for something classy, you sure as hell don’t want to visit this establishment.